So I got a call from my best friend Denise who had a Bridal Shower dilemma.  She was recently asked to serve as a host for a friends wedding. Although not really close with the bride-to-be, she accepted the invitation nevertheless. With the role comes buying a new dress the bride has asked the hosts to wear and is splitting the costs with the other bridal party members for other upcoming bridal events.  The bridal shower was one event Denise recently had to miss.  Her question was whether or not it was proper etiquette to still buy the bride-to-be a shower gift or would buying a wedding gift be enough since she is helping to foot the costs of some other wedding related events/attire?

Here are a few different opinions posted on Askville:

“You are never required to give gifts.  They are obviously a nice way to show thanks, or appreciation, or just simply “thinking of you” but one should never feel required in any event to give a gift.”

“It is acceptable to give a large gift at the shower as both a shower and wedding gift.  If you want to give the couple something very special from their registry, this is OK to do.  If your budget is modest, don’t feel obligated to spend more than you can on gifts or on giving a generous check.  The amount you spend should be determined not only by the closeness you have with the bride, groom, or both, but also by your own budget.  You’d probably want to do more for, say, your best friend on the planet than you would for a college friend you’ve only spoken to a few times in the past ten years.”

“Typically the shower gift would be for the bride. Something like lingere, a photo album, something personal. The wedding gift would be for the couple or it could be money.  It is a lot but weddings are very expensive.”

I’ve never found a defined answer for this etiquette quesion, but how you feel about this issue?